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Some ways to die are very unpleasant. Some are cruel. Others are embarrassing. Some are terrifying…

With a definite sense that all was not well, Our Hero awoke in the dark. He glanced around his cabin. It was empty. He called softly for his roommates, then desperately. Nothing. He glanced at the rack. The life vests were all gone. Including his. He thought the only thought possible: “Damn!” Bounding out of bed, he cracked his head on a pipe.

You see, this was a ship, and not a particularly nice one. This particular crewman, this unnamed hero (for, as you shall see, fate demands his name never be known), was a crewman on this ship. For months, he had served faithfully, and become friends with many. He had trained for emergencies, and knew how to swim. This, most certainly, should be a combination favoring survival. However, OH¹ was the result of an unfortunate string of occurrences. He was, in fact, a remarkable sleeper. Very few alarms could rouse him from slumber. Additionally, his friends weren’t much of ones. When panic set in, and the “abandon ship” klaxon sounded, his roommates abandoned him in panic. Someone, in haste, accidentally knocked his vest of its hook. None gave much, in fact any, thought to him as they fled. Although stragglers are rounded up by rescue teams, OH was missed in the dark…

When he awoke, he knew the ship was sinking. Rushing onto the deck, he saw with horror all the lifeboats were missing. The ship was very low in the water, and tilting at an accelerating rate, signs OH correctly read as imminent capsize. Grabbing a nearby life vest, he sprang overboard, putting as much distance as possible between himself and the ship. Drama paused, and the ship disappeared beneath the waves. He was alone. Horizon to horizon, there was no light but that of the full moon, and countless stars. A satellite arced lazily overhead. There was no sound but the slosh of waves. In warm tropical water, OH knew he could survive for quite some time. He had to only float towards a shore. But wait! His life vest had a light… surely, someone would see him! Someone did not.

When hunted, the prey can develop a sense of being tracked.

Thinking of sharks, OH nervously spun in the water. But there was no sign of movement. No fin, no bubbles, no froth. Then, from underneath, came a strange, subtle change in temperature… almost imperceptible, he would have missed it entirely, except for his terror-heightened senses. He began (or really, continued) to panic… and for the first time, he felt Something Swish. In gazelle-like terror, he tried to splash away. The water in front of him turned to ink. He spun and swam the other way, only to see It. It was red and huge, huge, yes, there, there was an eye moving… up, It was just under the surface. It broached the surface. Blink. Stare. Evil. Hungry. Intelligent. They locked gazes. Then was OH’s single most amazing moment in his life; everything he thought he knew about life was, now, different. In fascinated horror, he stared back, motionless… for a moment. With speed beyond human perception, a tentacle shot out of the water and to his neck. There was a splash.

Some predators play with their food. Some kill it quickly. Some cut it up into small pieces…

Then nothing.

…and some just suck.

1 OH = Our Hero, for short. I’m lazy.